Procrastination hacks -- wisdom for getting your dream done
Hey, Reader
Last week, I offered three explanations that your procrastination might be signalling to you:
I don't feel safe enough.
I don't feel sound enough.
I'm not thrilled enough.
You're a responsible person. I know you get things done when they matter. But defining what truly "matters" can get tricky when your rational brain and survival brain drop their gloves for a passive-aggressive tussle.
Let's run these three signals through the scenario of writing a book. (If you have no desire to write a book anytime soon, insert your foreboding project, instead.)
Scenario #1: I don't feel safe enough
Rational brain says:
I've got to write this book. The nudge hasn't gone away for years -- there must be something to it. It matters because it's part of the legacy I want to leave, and a way I can help/inspire/educate others.
Survival brain says:
Who the heck are you to write a book? What if it flops? Do you really want to put your story out for the world to criticize? What if you change your mind about what you say and can't take back your words? That sounds like a bad idea -- better for others to do, but not you.
What do you think is going to happen there?
Survival Brain will win the battle every time, because it also knows how to hack your entire nervous system and body response like this a life or death situation. So. Not. Fair.
(During my years writing and launching Dare to Decide SB felt like I was dragging my mind/body through sludge, waking up with panic attacks, brain numbing as soon as I sat down to write -- what are your symptoms?!)
Unless Rational Brain knows how to see and handle what SB is doing before it overrides everything, RB doesn't stand a chance.
#1 Solutions:
- Acknowledge and empathize with SB's fear, while still holding onto your dream and plan. Because SB is truly doing what it thinks is best (safe) for you.
- Sooth your alarmed lymphatic system with deep breaths, nature walks, meaningful distraction, music, and other calming actions.
- Arm RB and SB with stories with believable proof to reinforce your "This is safe and possible for me" pep talks.
- Make small steps teenier towards to goal.
Scenario #2: I don't feel sound enough.
Rational Brain says:
Just choose your book topic and start writing. You've researched enough. Delaying is costing you time and wasting pointless words. This matters, because it's impacting no one be staying in your brain.
Survival Brain says:
Whoaaa there. You don't even know what you don't know. You need more information. But let's say you figure this out. If you decide to go ahead with xyz, it might actually succeed -- and then what would happen? Can you handle it? Is that really what you want to commit to?
In this scenario, sometimes you crave clarity, but you're not even sure about what, or how to get there. You feel like you don't know anything and yet know too much, and it's unhelpful. Other times, deep inside you know the answer, but for various reasons, you're not quite ready to live that out yet.
Choosing one direction impacts your sense of identity, loss and opportunity tied with the other direction, and you have the capacity to handle that yet.
#2 Solutions:
- Write down a list of what you don't know and/or your questions.
- Find a safe space to be gut honest with yourself -- in your journal, with a therapist or coach or mentor.
- Talk with someone experienced or knowledgeable in that area -- who you feel comfortable being vulnerable about your unknowns.
- Take mini imperfect action steps in one direction, and observe your internal reactions and external results until you're ready to make a bold move.
Scenario #3: I'm not thrilled enough.
Rational brain says:
You did just fine writing those 20,000 words last month. You want this. It's good for you. There's no reason for you to not feel motivated. Just write a bit every day like the experts say and you'll be done in no time.
Survival brain says:
But I'm not feeling inspired to write! What if that means I'm not meant to write this book? Or am I doing it wrong? What if I die of boredom? There must be a secret to writing a book and staying inspired that I don't know about.
Let's face it. How influenced you are by what you're feeling at any given moment will impact how soon/well you get your dream done. And if you are only willing to work on your book when you're inspired, good luck getting very far.
#3 Solutions:
- Understand how you're naturally wired to readily meet inner and outer expectations - and strategize accordingly. This eased a LOT of pressure on myself and even changed how I coach clients.
- Banish unspoken rules of how and when you think you should approach your goal, and try something new -- your way.
- Create enjoyable reasons to show up for rhythms you want to establish -- little delights such as the music you listen to, lighting a candle, where you do it, what time of day, who you do it with, aesthetic surroundings, and visuals.
Which one do you resonate with? Hit reply and let me know!
Cheering you on,
Emily Grabatin
PS: Did you know the more you let yourself down by procrastinating or not showing up for you told yourself you would, the more likely you will be to delay further? You and your dream are worth more than that!
I have spaces open Mon morning, Thurs and Fri next week for free Clarity Calls! Let's hop on a 30-min call and get you clear on what actually has been holding you back and get you excited about doable next steps in your book, business or calling.
>>>Book your call here: emilygrabatin.ca/claritycall